This time of year can bring some odd dynamics into play. I see it regularly with clients, and if I’m honest, I saw it myself just last night.
For many of my clients, it’s financial year-end. The internal finance teams kick into gear, doing their job, helping ensure the right numbers land in the right places. That’s normal. That’s expected.
But for some, it triggers something deeper.
Instead of staying above the line (Adult-Adult dynamic), some slip below it (click here for an excellent, short, animated video that explains this). They fall into the old Parent-Child patterns. The Victim role (Drama Triangle – click here for another short video) sneaks in.
The interference builds. Performance suffers.
We all get triggered below the line from time to time. It’s part of being human. I did last night when Ciara asked me a question in a tone that I misinterpreted. It caught me off guard. I got defensive.
The real work isn’t about avoiding triggers. It’s about catching ourselves when it happens. Noticing. Resetting.
And here’s the thing. When the people around you can spot when you’ve been triggered, and they’re in a good place themselves, they can help you reset too.
But that takes trust, and your permission. Not forced positivity or shallow cheerleading, but the kind of trust built on:
- Real vulnerability
- Active listening
- Holding space for each other to work it through
This isn’t just true at work. It’s just as real in our families, with friends, partners, kids.
So, two simple prompts for you this week:
- What can you do to elevate yourself into a clearer, calmer, more resourceful headspace?
- Who around you might need some support right now? How could you help them shift back above the line?
Small moments. Big impact.
Less interference. Greater performance.