How has the start of your year gone so far?
Wet and windy? Tick!
For most people I’ve been talking to, it has been very busy.
Yesterday I sat down to take stock of the past few weeks, it was helpful to slow down.
At the start of the year, I didn’t set goals.
Personally, I didn’t want to. Plain and simple. I wasn’t ready.
I had come out of surgery. I wasn’t fully mobile. I felt a bit scrambled. Forcing clarity at that point would have been insincere.
Instead, I noted what I was open to and let it sit, or simmer, or something like that! I actually wrote down what I was open to…
- Healing
- Strengthening.
- Freedom.
Not linear. But there was a sense of sequence to it.
As January rolled on, that openness began to firm up into something else.
Commitment. Especially around the healing part.
The cast came off. I began physio (shout out to Fionn Daly, top man). Then the leg came out of the boot. Eventually the crutches were no longer needed.
Each week, Fionn’s exercise regime evolved. What was becoming tedious by the end of the week was refreshed. From mobility, to contrast bathing, to pool exercises and now to gentle weights on the recovering leg.
I’ve been a complete nerd about it.
It has been simple. Chop wood, carry water. Just do the work.
Over the weekend I began some static bike sessions in the gym.
It’s progress, and I’m enjoying that. There’s something humbling about having to respect limits while still building capacity.
I usually stop drinking for a while at the start of the year. Sometimes weeks, sometimes months. This year, I didn’t even decide on a timeframe.
I enjoyed a couple of drinks at the weekend when we were away as a family. And just as quickly, I was weirdly relieved to realise I didn’t want any more anytime soon.
So for now, I’m not drinking. Again, no timeframe in mind.
It’s not that I’m feeling wholesome here. Honestly, it’s more that I don’t feel ready enough yet to add anything else on my agenda.
What’s become clearer for me is that healing isn’t necessarily local.
Yes, the ankle is the obvious focus. But there’s more to it. Muscular strength. Cardiovascular fitness. Nervous system regulation. Mindset. Patience.
Trying to rush one part while ignoring the rest would be a bit daft.
Which brings me to Morocco.
In June, I’m due to travel to the Atlas Mountains to attempt the seven highest peaks in North Africa over seven days. Some days involve two peaks.
- I don’t know what I’ll be capable of.
- I don’t know if the ankle will hold up.
- I don’t know if compensatory patterns will cause pain elsewhere.
- I don’t know if something unexpected will intervene between now and then.
There are a lot of unknowns.
I’m going anyway.
I’ve spoken with Jason Black, who’ll be leading Paul’s expedition in the mountains. Jason was clear and supportive.
We’ll take it day by day. I’ll do what I’m physically able to do. No heroics required.
That commitment feels sincere, and accessible, even without certainty.
Right now, my commitment looks quite unglamorous.
- Head down.
- Follow the programme.
- Recover properly.
- Build the whole system.
Interestingly, I’ve come down with a fairly full-on head cold this week. Part of me suspects it’s my body saying, don’t complicate things now.
Don’t add layers. Stay on track.
There’s a quiet kind of freedom in that.
Not the freedom of doing whatever you want.
But the freedom that comes from committing to what’s right and letting that be enough for now.
So as you reflect on the weeks or months ahead, I’ll leave you with this:
What are you ready to commit to, even if you don’t yet know how it will play out?
Not forever. Not perfectly. Just honestly.