Played nine holes with Nico last week. He started poorly and went silent, sulking his way round the course.
After a couple of holes I asked him a question. Do you want to play better, or do you want to stay grumpy and play rubbish?
He said he didn’t want to talk about it. It’s not in his character to be this way, so I figured he’d snap out of it.
So I let him be.
Well, I tried to let him be.
A couple more holes in, I told him I wouldn’t be taking him out again unless he copped on.
Not only was he ruining his own game, he was no fun to be around.
He was fed up being fed up. So he begrudgingly asked what I’d suggest he do.
I offered to record his swing on video so he could see it for himself.
“Fine”, he replied.
His mood lifted straight away. He had some agency again. He knew what he wanted to do differently.
He made some adjustments to his swing, and played much better golf.
But it was the adjustment to his mindset and overall state that mattered most.
It’s easy to spot someone else’s flaws and judgements playing out in real time. Easy to hand them the advice.
I see it with leaders and teams all the time.
I see it in myself too.
It was only after, thinking about how much that message mattered, that I realised something. I was the one who needed to hear it.
I’ve played some shocking golf lately myself. Plenty of excuses ready.
But the truth is simpler. Until I play consistently, there’s no consistency in my game.
The more I can make peace with the mistakes, the flaws, the lack of skill, the sooner I move forward.
The more frustrated or critical I get, the more it compounds.
The Inner Game of Golf, eh?!
- What flaws do you see in others that, if honest, you perceive in yourself?
- If you could accept them in yourself, would it make it easier to support others navigating theirs?