It’s not easy for parents returning to work after a break.
We’re often refreshed and ready to swing back into action. Or, depending on the age of your kids, you may well just be dying to get your own space and adult company again!!
Yet our kids very much remain in holiday mode.
Whether you’re returning to an employed role, or to the business you own, we’ve our own expectations to meet alongside those of our clients, colleagues and other stakeholders.
Our kids don’t relate to those professional needs. Why should they?! Good on them.
In previous years, I haven’t always managed this transition well. Sometimes I’ve had completely unrealistic expectations of Edie and Nico’s ability to understand that my holiday is over and that I need time and space to work.
In their eyes, I’ve shifted way too quickly from ‘Fun-Dad’ to ‘Routine-Dad’.
This year, I was intent on managing the transition well.
Ciara needed to get back into the office for some important meetings at the start of the week.
Edie’s at home this week, Nico needs to be dropped off and collected from his camp.
I knew it would all be a bit disjointed so I had prepared myself.
How has it gone? Pretty well actually, but room for improvement. Here are some quick examples.
- Fun-Dad: Monday was hot, so we went for a harbour jump and swim after camp. Everyone wins there!
- Routine-Dad: Late Monday, with an empty fridge at home, we went to the supermarket for a big shop. When the kids started messing, I got cranky – my battery was too low.
- Fun-Dad: Tuesday, the car needed to be serviced. Edie and I dropped the car off to the mechanic and we went to Squirrel’s Scramble. Great craic!
- Routine-Dad: On the way back to the car, we were pushed for time. Edie was tired and I didn’t have much patience for her not keeping pace with me. Not such great craic!
For you, as a leader at home or in work, similar rhythms and swings will occur.
You’ll be in flow one minute, feeling like a great leader. Then you’ll get tired, or you’ll be pushed for a deadline, and your capacity to remain open and compassionate will be diminished.
That’s okay! It’s human.
If you’re aware of your state, you’re displaying considerable emotional intelligence. Keep it up.
Once you’re aware of your state, you can be more aware of the influence it has on your behaviour, and how your behaviour impacts others.
Whether at home or at work, take a moment now to choose how you want to be throughout the rest of August.
- Choose how you’d like to be with yourself first – what do you need from you?
- Choose how you’d like to lead and impact others – how would you like them to feel after being in your company?
Then as the month unfolds, check in with yourself by answering these simple questions in relation to this area only.
- What went well?
- What could be improved?
- What have you learnt about yourself?
- What will you do differently as a result?
All the best,
Jasper
PS: As you read this, I’m nowhere near my kids. I’m driving Porsches around Mondello Park all morning before facilitating roundtable discussions with 20 senior leaders from tech organisations across the UK and Ireland. Gimme Gimme! https://p.allego.com/_WO7E6FDGmXDGy I’ll let you know how it goes next week!